Probably like you, so many thoughts are rolling in your head about what has been happening in the USA. First of all we still have COVID-19! It’s not like it has completely disappeared. I’m sure all of the staying at home these past 3 months (I started earlier than called for) has also played into our subconscious as well)
There was a reason that I started cooking Asian food , especially Chinese food. Not just because we couldn’t eat out. It was me, tuning back into me. My roots. Started out with recipes from Mom and Dad. Then into cookbook recipes. I’m still cooking and it’s healing.
I finally have some words to put on “paper”. Instead of just doing a FaceBook post I thought I would put the words on my blog. I couldn’t decided whether to put it on my ReikiFurBabies blog or here.
On the ReikiFurBabies social media pages, you will never ever see a picture or article about an animal being abused. I refuse to put any attention there. Even when we talk to the animals themselves they don’t put any energy there. I have learned from them.
As the news unfolded all over social media the past week reading how hurt, angry, confused people were feeling I started to look within myself in how I felt.
For the FIRST time in my life I felt as if I had NOT one person to talk to. Not one. That has never happened to me ever. I always pride myself in always knowing where to get help. But this was scary and extremely isolating.
I realized I’m not black. I’m not white. I’m Asian. Every single racist memory came flooding back to me. It was so overwhelming as the memories came rushing into my brain. Remembering words said, questions asked, expressions seen again. Over and over and over again.
After several days I finally spoke to a friend and realized why I was so exhausted. I took time off of social media. To my irony I spoke to someone who is non Asian. She shed some light onto what I am experiencing.
After another day, I read something that resonated with me. He said the question isn’t What you are SUPPOSED to do, the question is what are you called to do. The “supposed” to is where I had been at. The “calling” – yes, that is it. Look within. Not at anyone else.
Look within . You will know. That is what you follow.
I was finally back to my peaceful self. The answers are within.